i love you mom, i do and i always will

i never think about death, i mean really think about it until my mom passed away last month. Being so naive, i knew that this day will come but i don't expect it coming so soon. It should be just another peaceful sunday morning where i suppose to spend time with rafan and papa, but it turned out to be mourning day. My mom got a heart attack at sunday morning before dawn, i was there next to her until her last breath, accompanied her to the hospital, and be with her until i couldn't see her anymore. I cried a lot, until i felt i have no more tears and kept thinking that it shouldn't happened and wished that it's only a dream, a bad one.

have you ever asked something in particular to Allah? i did, almost ten years ago. He didn't give me what i asked for, no matter how hard i pray at that time. i didn't know why but i believe that it was the best for me. i still couldn't figure out why until today and the result of that prayer is i changed the way i pray. now, i always asked Allah to give the best for me no matter what it is, bad or good experience. because it will rich me in a way that He can only understand.

things happened for a purpose, like a proverb said every dark cloud has a silver lining. you may not see the silver lining now, but years a head when you looked back you will realise that it was meant for something.

my mom passed away because her time has arrived and also because it was the best things for her, me and my family. i love you mom, i do and i always will.